I handled the doctor situation without a problem. I just focused on what was best for my son. I guess I just felt as if she wanted me to fall on the grenade for her so she wouldn't have to. In a sense, I felt that those are the types of consequences she'd have to live with after making the decision to separate/D. I'm learning.
Gabby - our whole time together I felt I was making her an equal. I never implied that ANYTHING in the hose was her "job" at all. That said, perhaps in the manner in which I said or did things she could have read things that way - but in was never in my head or heart. I think she thought that everything needed to be perfect for me or I would be angry - and that wasn't the case either. Notwithstanding, I can acknowledge her feelings.
I have thought a lot about the reasons she said she wants a D, and I think so many of them have to do with poor communication - which I will take the blame for.
She has been gone a week now, and I am doing my best to work on my 180s as well as the last resort technique. Problem is, with her being away and only seeing each other during custody exchanges, it's hard to know if she would even notice anything.
I think that the time away from the baby is starting to hit her, also. She has had to go back to work full time and we alternate weekends - that is a MAJOR decline in the amount of time she had with him. The time away hits me, too.
The Divorce Remedy has been a lot of help/hope in me getting my head together. I have stopped pleading, writing notes, etc. and I am trying to put forth the best, most positive "me" I can when we interact (text or otherwise). It's hard to do because my heart is killing me, but I am sticking to it.
Right now since the move-out is still so new, I think she is just still angry with me and has no real desire to talk, which I understand. How do I act in this period? I have made some attitude changes, but will she ever see them?
