Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Barb, with the current set up I can leave work every day at 2:30 p.m. and pick the girls up from school, hang out with them until 4:30 p.m. and then go back to work. So during the school year I see them every day during the week and my weekends. That's 12 out of 14 days. That's 86 percent.

If they move 20 minutes north then I'd have to leave at 2:00 to go up and see them and not be back until 5 p.m. My job is flexible, but not that flexible. I'm pushing it as it is. Plus the gas costs would be prohibitive.

So it'd be very difficult for me to maintain the same schedule. I'd be down to seeing them 5 days out of 14. That's 36 percent.

So no, I wouldn't be happy if she ends up moving out of the district. If that means I'm playing the victim so be it.

GM, their mom's best option is to rent a house in the current school district. The girls are both at special schools so it doesn't matter where in the district she moves, they wouldn't have to switch schools.

If she tries to move north, the housing costs there run $200 to $400 more per month. A good three bedroom rental here goes for about $900. This is a very cheap housing market. I found a small three bedroom for $700, but I got lucky. Up north, a good three bedroom goes for $1,100. Her current mortgage payment that she's been unable to keep up on is $1,200 so moving north doesn't really help her finances either.

It also doesn't help the amount of time she'd see them. She'd be moving 25 minutes away from her job. She already has to leave so early in the morning for work that she leaves D12 to herself to get on the bus. She has trouble leaving work now when the girls get sick or have to go to appointments. That wouldn't be easier.

But yes, I can't control her choices. I can only shake my head as she continues to make bad ones.

This site is frustrating some times because just as there is an obvious difference in how a WAS sees things as compared with an LBS, there's obviously a big difference in how a custodial parent sees things versus a non custodial parent.

Divorce is very, very, very unfair to the non custodial parent. If you don't agree with that statement then you aren't going to understand where I'm coming from.

Truthfully, though, I'm letting that go. I can only wait and see. I think in the end XW will end up staying in the district. In 2009, when she blissfully said she'd be fine in the house and if not, she'd just sell it, I told her that the house needed too many repairs and the real estate market was going to deteriorate for several more years before getting better.

I study and write about real estate and banking for a living. I know what I'm talking about and I was right. She couldn't sell and it sunk her. Here, I think once everything settles out she'll end up staying close because it's all she can afford.

Those are her issues anyway. They are not mine. I'll have plenty of time after she decides what she's going to do to figure out what I'm going to do.

Things continue to look better for me. I don't think I've ever been more secure in my job than I am now. We've cut down so many people that you have to be super productive to survive and there's no one here with my range of skills.

Most of the issues from the accident are going away nicely and I'll end up with a decent settlement. Funny how things happen. By the summer, I will have turned a corner financially.

Went on a lunch date with a lady from Match on Friday. She's an English and humanities professor at a junior college. I'm a writer. She's very pretty. The lunch was at noon. We didn't stop talking until 2 p.m. The only issue right now is her divorce isn't done. She didn't indicate that on Match. And she's knee deep in settlement talks. We were going to do something Sunday, but her STBXH begged out of having their kids.

I actually referred her to this site. I told her this is where I vented when things got bad for me. I haven't been on here much lately because things are going very well.