I'm still here-again

[gunny]

Agreed DG, you have put alot time into making yourself a more whole person. Whoever you are with in the future will be the benefactor of all this work.

Hope your weekend is great!
Gunny

[workinghardguy]

I hear you DG... I have the same fears... It's like, what must be wrong with you?

But I tell you what... from a guy's perspective, I wouldn't take two divorces as a deal-breaker. It all depends on what went on and how you reacted. If a woman tells me she's divorced twice b/c both husbands couldn't meet her needs and so she cheated on both of them (oh wait... that's my W!) I'd probably run away as fast as my legs will carry me. Or if there are chemical dependency issues that caused both divorces... well, same thing.

But if the story is that the second one really was an awakening. It helped her understand herself and engage in personal growth... that's different. A lot would also depend on how we had clicked and how I felt. I'm not sure that I'd toss out there that you're twice divorced on the first date but if it comes up, it comes up. But if there's a connection, just being twice divorced isn't going to be a deal-breaker to me.

Of course maybe that's because I could be twice divorced myself soon

[~¤DG¤~]

Thanks for picking me up guys. I appreciate it.

I'm so glad it's the weekend. You know what I have planned? Not a darn thing! That makes me happy to not have anything going on.
I got all my running done tonight so I won't have to go out tomorrow. (We're supposed to get snow-bleh)

It's weird, I haven't thought about H much lately.

[westcoastfella]

Being divorced twice isn't a big deal. Once you starting hitting four or five, that's when things are encroaching into Uh-Oh Land.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling---

Not much going on today. Took the dog for a long walk this morning since it's supposed to start snowing soon, and that left her pretty tuckered out.

It's gloomy out and so is my mood a little, I think.

Last night I went into H's work (he works at a convenience store) because I didn't see his car and knew he wasn't working. I've only been in the store once since we split.
I had to pick up a few things and the whole time I was in there my heart was racing because I was worried he would show up, but he didn't.

I really haven't thought too much about H lately. It feels weird, but nice.

[Autumn Leaves]

I've been thinking about getting one of those lights to use in the winter months, to keep the gloomies from setting in. I wonder if that may be something that will be good for you DG? I would imagine you get way more snow there than we do in PA. I haven't started researching them yet but its on my list

[~¤DG¤~]

I don't think I need one of those lights,
I usually do pretty well in the winter.
I hate winter. Have I mentioned that?

You know what is ironic? I was looking over the vet records of my dog, and she was born on the day that H & I got married.
Not in the same year of course, but the same day. I guess that date can take on a new meaning for me now.

I took her out in the snow today. This was her first experience with it and she loved it! It was fun to watch her hopping through the snow like a rabbit. She's exhausted now, which is good.

I've spent most of the day relaxing, I made some brownies for Sunday dinner and addressed some Xmas cards. I am torn as to whether I should send one to H's family or not.
I did send one to his D & cousin, but that's all.
I want to send one to his Mom & sister, but I don't feel like being rejected so I won't.

It's hard to believe that last year at this time H & I were in such a rocky place. It was not fun.
I do remember New Years Eve, he told me that 2011 would be a much better year.
For a long time after he left I thought he was wrong, but then realized he was right. This hasn't been a good year for us, but it has been a tremendous year for myself. I've grown a lot and I know it's because of me deciding to reevaluate my life.

I used to hate the song by Sara Evans "Stronger" but now I think I can appreciate what she is talking about.

[Valeska19]

DG,
I'm glad the pup brings you joy and that you can realize the positives of 2011.

It speaks volume to your growth!

[paige40]

SNOW???? where are you DG?? I can't even remember the last time I saw snow. So I shouldn't tell you it was 81 in Orlando today? haha!!

I have a guest room come and visit we have lots of sun here!

[~¤DG¤~]

Paige-

Don't tempt me, because I'd probably show up at your door.
I am in Wi, and yesterday was our first snowfall. It's still on the ground, I was hoping it would melt since the ground is still pretty warm, but unfortunately it is still here.
I hate winter. I hate driving in the crappy weather. I am always paranoid I am going to get into an accident.
It reminds me if the day H left, it was a horrible snowstorm that day. We had gone to visit his Dad and on the way home was going 25mph on the freeway. I was white knuckled the entire time.

I think I'm a little bid depressed. I know it will pass and I need to get through it and I will, but right now I just feel bummed.