I have changed so much already, and I love it, and the kids see it (plus W has commented on it many times, maybe that’s just it with her!!) Loads of 180’s!
Yes, I am honest to say right at the beginning a lot of changes were to try and get W back, and I think most on these boards, at the beginning, if they are honest with themselves would say the same. But, that is not what it is about I can see now. Better yourself first; change to make yourself a better person, for you, for your future, for your kids. AND, the by product MAY be your W noticing, but these changes are for you and the rest of your life…..
The boundaries I have put in place are to protect ME, nothing else. I have to remove myself for the toxicity of W and her drama and move forward with my life.
I do not want to be with the person W is, period, Yes I still love her, but do not respect her ATM or have sympathy for her, empathy yes.
I have detached quite well now, her vm message did get to me, but I wouldn’t be human IMHO if it didn’t, but I didn’t react or respond to it. Again IMHO W was trying to suck me back in and goad a reaction from me, not anymore!
I am GAL like no tomorrow when I have the 4 nights without the kids.
Workday Night 1 – round to see friend 1, play cards, help with his PC issues Workday Night 2 – Out for curry with another friend Workday Night 3 – Poker night last night till 2am (and I won Yeahhhhh) Sat – Housework, washing etc!!!! LOL, watch football, Eve – Out on the town with other friends Sun – Relax, Ironing LOL, Eve – Kids come back
GAL stuff with the kids - We play board games or cards most nights - Still go bowling every other Tue eve - Shopping and Starbucks - Kids have sleepover and we have games and pizza/snacks etc - Round to see grandparents and family - Out for Sunday lunch every Sun when I have them
Again I will say this. Having the kids with me for the majority of the time, is so unusual for a father, it makes me feel a great dad, and the kids say I have changed soooo much and love being here with me at home. Around the kids the changes were not mostly intentional, but as I had to due to now being a “hands on dad”
Change creates opportunities, and this is what this is, an opportunity.
To better ME
What happens, happens
It will be what it will be, but I WILL be better for it
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
