As far as not being the affectionate type I would say she was right about that. I've given it a lot of thought and the only time I would be that way towards her was when I wanted S.
It sounds like your W wants you to be intimate with her, without having sex. My guess is that she wants the closeness that includes intimate conversation where you express your thoughts & feelings about the two of you. This is not the time to show any negative viewpoints, but talk to her in a way to build her up. Even if you tell her how you felt when you saw her the first time, etc.
Give her words of affirmation. That can be food for her ego. But if she thinks you are doing that as a way to get sex, it won't go over very well. You will need to prove to her that it's not your intention to ML whenever you say something positive to her. You prove it by letting her see the outcome, not by telling her you aren't seeking sex.
Just as men need to ML physically, women need the man to ML to her mentally. A man should always start with what's between her ears, instead of what's between her legs.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
