And of course there's the obvious fear: how would I know that W would never do any of this again?
You wouldn't. And although I know it's a bit anti-DB, my advice to a young person like you, without kids, whose spouse has already shown that they have this ability to cheat - I don't recommend you stay with them if you plan to have kids.
My ex cheated on me very early in the marriage. We reconciled and went on to have three great kids. When they were teens he cheated on me again - they found out and were devastated. And I felt guilty, because I realized - while I had taken the risk of taking my H back the first time, my innocent kids were now paying the price in pain for that decision of mine to risk it.
Your W has behaved in a very insensitive and cockeyed way - not just the semi-appropriate apologetic way a woman who has cheated on her spouse because of lack of love might behave, but in a vicious destructive downright MEAN way. And that doesn't speak well for her character. Ask yourself, is this the woman you want by your side in the future if life throws you a giant curveball like, say, a kid with leukemia?
