I don't know what state you live in, but I believe most split what was acquired during the M concerning assets and debt down the middle.
Are you the only one paying down the debt or is your H working toward that goal too? If he's not, then your taking it all on yourself and relieving your H from any responsibility of it should you happen to D.
I agree with Queen. You've told your H your boundary and he knows it, it will do no good to repeat it. I haven't read of many MLCers that have been 'woken' up by the threat of D. Your H remains deep in the tunnel and will emerge on his timeline. You're not dealing with a sane or rational man right now. Nothing said or done will fix it or hurry it along.
Since you both have retained Ls, let them hash it out. That's what you pay them for.
