So I really need some advice, I am really having a hard time right now.
Tonight I had plans to go out with some girlfriends, which I did. During the day H emailed me that he was going to happy hour with some coworkers and I said ok. He suggested we meet up when we got home.
So his typical M.O. is to call me after work to check on the kids, but tonight there was no call. Throughout the night, no text..so I stayed out with the girls just chit chatting and sadly discussing our situations (all sad currently)
So after telling them my sitch, both said big red flags for possible OW. It's not the first time I heard it but it hurt.
When I got home he heard me come in and I said "was surprised I didn't hear from you tonight" (I know that I shouldn't have, I regret it)
He said "I called you and texted you". I said "no you didn't, I had my phone. I actually texted the kids"
He said "I know, we texted them at the same time"
My anxiety level went up and I looked at his phone. He grabbed it from me and said I can't believe you are going to look at my phone. I said, I wouldn't have a problem with you looking at my phone but you're right, and handed it back. (in my head I knew how anti DB that was and was trying to pull back)
The one and only text that I saw was between him and his boss who is also a good friend. There was a comment about "send my W directions to he!!" It is a Iphone so I couldn't tell who said it, when I said "nice comment" he said "that was him, not me" (not so sure). He said it was a joke from a video on the internet.
He proceeded to get angrier and said "why do i need to call every night and check in, I am 43 years old." I said "you don't I just was used to it because we've always done that, and was surprised that you didn't"
He said "I don't need to check in with you"
I tried to explain that his coldness and shortness is bringing me back to the A of years ago, and bringing up trust issues because he is shutting me out. He said "see I will never be free of that"
I said "until recently we were not having these issues, the treatment you are giving me is so eerily similar that it is bringing me back there"
He said "you are going back there by yourself"
He then said "Really, where were you tonight, who were you with, you've been losing all this weight so whats his name, what guy were you with"
I replied "well you sure succeeded, I hope you are satisfied"
Sadly right now I am wondering what I am fighting for, if he is this angry with me and possibly having an A. I can't fight for this M if I don't have all the facts.
Sorry if I am all over the place, I am super upset and trying to calm down to get some sleep already.
I said "should I even bother calling the MC"
He said "yes, because if we were in front of one now, they would say WTF is her problem."
I need to pull it together before the morning for the kids sakes, I am shaken to the core right now.
