Peter, I can't say that I'm surprised by your w's reaction. Some of this stuff is just pure script.
Unfortunately it could only be the beginning.. sounds like she moved from pressure to a little bit of venom.
People are going to tell you a bunch of reasons as to why she would do this: Guilt, anger, knows you'll put up with it...etc
And these all MAY be true.. but don't focus on it too much. When she is spewing venom, just do you best to see if there is ANY truth to what she is saying.. or if it's BS. If it's BS, let it roll off your back.
Eventually if it keeps up, some boundaries may need to be placed.. but right now it's too early to tell.
Originally Posted By: workinghardguy
I see your interaction as her pulling back even harder because she sees the mediator rescheduling as a strategy for extending things. This means you aren't willing to let go and let her be.
I'm sure that's part of it WTG but Peter just said he's scared of w and his priorities are confused.
AND honestly - who cares what wife thinks??
Peter does not have the good state of mind he needs to be in when one is faced with the hard decisions that he stated above...and I remember from your thread Peter - you left out the CC stuff.
And again.. completely ok. But until you can get there - why would you jeaporadize your future - because someone is pushing you around - I just don't get.
I'm not trying to be rude or unloving to your wife.. I hope you don't think that.
In actuality it wasn't until I could actually deal with those feelings.. that I could be loving towards my w - and sometimes that meant boundaries and a little bit of tough love.
Your are really early in this process. And these things don't happen over night. There is a reason for that.
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
