A Bklyn tale

[BklynMom]

Thanks KG. Definitely see the similarities. Especially with our contrasting personality styles. At the end you mention being patient - ugh that is so hard right now.

I called my H last night after a parent/teacher meeting at D3 school. (Can you believe it she is three & we are having parent teacher!!) I figured I should just do the normal thing and call. I called at bedtime and H was still at work. He was multitasking while talking to D3 & I. He sounded glad I called, almost relieved, like it is just too hard/sad for him to pick up the phone sometimes. Who knows maybe I am reading into it too much? I gave him an update & D3 said hi, D1 said ehhh.

I have decided to call him every few days at bedtime. To give him a run down of the girls activities and so he can say hi. If I get a "back-off" vibe I will reevaluate.

This morning I had a little realization about my H's mind. I always described my H as the hero type. He would totally be the guy you would want around if your house went on fire or if your car broke down. He has always taken on that persona as the rescuer from his work life to his family life.

I think my H wanted to save me too, save me from my depression and negative attitude. And he couldnt save me, so now he feels like he has failed. I need to help make him feel like he has not failed (even though I know he is not responsible for my happiness - I am). Then I need to get my H into C - that is definitely a deal breaker for me if we ever R.

My H flipped on a dime, from loving me soooo soooo much to saying it was over & nothing to could be done to change that within two days. I dont think I could trust him again unless he worked on his issues. And I will continue to work on mine.

I was feeling pretty good today after the phone call & my hero revelation but then I checked the answering machine. I never check the at home answering machine. Our accountant left a message a couple of days ago saying H had called but the message was broken up, just returning the call.

Ugh!! This could only mean 1 thing. H moving forward with D. Why else is he calling our accountant in Nov? Must be something for the lawyer. H knows nothing about our finances I do the taxes with the accountant.

I must say it set me back but not a far back as it would of a few months ago. Whatever, H is gonna do what he is gonna do. I must say if my H continues to move in the direction of D, he is a fool. He has 2 perfect & ridiculously incredeable daughters that want an intact family and a wife that has stood on her head to address the problems & who adores him through all his nonsense.

I am not going to stop. I am gonna stick with my DB program, one day at a time. Cause man, if I start thinking about Christmas I get really bummed out (& I was never sappy).

Thanks to this board for rocking! and being my rock. (I am such a sap now, what a 180!)