Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Thanks QofS...perhaps in real life they do but in the online dating world they don't...but then again for all the kudos given to online dating, only 1 in 5 people meet a match that way. Sounds impressive but that means 4 in 5 meet in other ways, which probably are face to face/random/introduced by a friend.

I watched this documentary about someone with cancer tonight and felt like a big ol' crybaby for my comments lately ;-)

Anyway I have to say that I really need to put a huge effort to focus on what I do have, and what I've got this week is a LOT of work done on my book...I decided to stop new writing and go back and edit what I already did so far to get it to the point where it's done but for maybe a few proofread sessions...and in 5 days, I've got about 21,000 words "ready", so considering the final length will be about 90,000 words, this is a HUGE amount of editing done in less than a week.

In addition, I've gotten 4 emails from the author I'm writing about this week and he is becoming more open with me by the email, letting his guard down, even to the point where he is making me laugh. I'm not even going to use a decent amount of what he's giving me (or else I'll end up over-quoting him) but I just feel enormously priveleged to know that what I'm hearing from this person who is my literary idol is for my ears only, very likely, because I know that no one's asking him the questions I am asking, and I have been allowing what my XH did to sort of distract me from the "wonder" of this experience.

Just like XH did when he left me for the first separation the day my first book was published, and I never celebrated my accomplishments till over a year later, I'm letting him overtake my pride AGAIN.

At least this time I am catching myself doing it and can put a stop to it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a person has to do something like write a book to feel good about herself after she gets dumped, but what I am saying is that I bet a lot of us are doing terrific things in the wake of the disaster and we're not even NOTICING what we're doing, whether it's great stuff for our kids or parents or friends or pets or people in our fields or altruistic stuff or whatever...and we have to sit up and take notice of ourselves.

I'm saying this for you guys and me too :-) I often don't take my own advice...and I have to start doing that!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!