The email shows you are moving in the right direction. Keep doing what you are doing. Dont ask her about it, over analyze it (whatever) - Just keep doing what you are doing it is working. It may be slow but it is working.

She may believe that she is only happy because it will be easier for a D but there is no way she can see changes without some small 2nd thought just crossing her mind. Keep it up

Have you looked into Boarder Line Personality Disorder (BPD) - it may explain the Jeckal & Hyde thing. Great book on it called Walking on Eggshells, which it meant for the family of a BDP but maybe something you can idenitify with.

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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13