Wife left

[CO1978]

Thanks for the replies so far.

I did read the 37 rules (great btw, though I broke some of them at first, but am sticking to them now)

Wednesday night was our first marriage counseling session. I thought it went well, although it was a “me” bashing session. During the session I realized I was the problem in our marriage. We discovered I am an alcoholic, controlling, and depressed. The therapist really did a great job explaining why I was that way to my wife. When she was asked if she wanted this to work, she still responded she wasn’t sure. She said she probably wouldn’t want to work it out if she didn’t care about hurting me. I agreed to quit drinking, give up total control of our bank accounts (although she had already opened her own bank account), respect her decisions and opinions, and become a better communicator. He gave us homework to read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and make a list of issues that need to change (which I pretty much had already done). We both agreed to another session, but she wanted us to go separate. At the end of the night when we got home, she did hug me before she left back to her parents’ house. (Not sure if she hugged me because she wanted to, or she knew I was going to ask for one). She showed up the next morning to watch our son before I went to work and we had a great conversation about just random general topics. I asked her if she knew where my wedding band was (I never wore it because I’m a Corrections Officer and I don’t like inmates knowing I’m married.), so I can wear it around when I’m not at work to constantly remind me why I don’t want to drink. When I got home from work and asked her about her day, she said she was lazy and just slept, took a shower and sat around. Of coarse I told her she deserved to have a day like that every now and then. We talked more about general topics and she gave me my wedding ring. I had asked her if she wanted to sell our time share or keep it, and she said lets keep it for now. I then told her our morning conversation was our best conversation we had in a long time and it made me feel really good. She agreed, and began talking about our MC session last. She said she thought it was really good and was excited to go back. She accepted that she was to blame on some things, and was glad we can work things out to be at least friends for our son. I told her I will try, but wasn’t totally sure I could be just friends, and it might be very difficult, but for our son I would do my best. She reiterated the she still wasn’t sure what she wanted, and not to get my hopes up. She felt like she may never get over the feeling of “walking on eggshells” but was open to the idea counseling may help and was worried what would happen if I reverted back to my old ways. She knew I was sincere, but wasn’t sure if she could risk it.