What do I do next? Part 2

[luvhurts49]

I just hope she does decide to re-engage. Right now though, she just seems to be really upset about me telling a couple of my friends about her A and OM. Generally speaking though, my attitude over this whole thing really hasn't changed. I have allowed myself to kinda let go a bit and to not always think about my W or our situation.

On the other hand, I know that in just a short period of time, I have become a better parent and a better listener to my kids which for me is a big deal. My S13 feels closer to me now than he has in years. He feels more comfortable telling me things that he normally wouldn't have in the past.

My youngest S3 behavior has gotten a little worse during this whole ordeal, but when he calms down, I have noticed that he is more wanting of some "cuddle time" with me, which is not something he did a lot of when me and my W were still together.

I guess looking back, I can see that I am a better person than I was just 3 months ago. I've learned many things about myself and many things about my W that I didn't know before. I hope that if my W ever does decide to give us another chance, that I can be the H that she wants and deserves, but also that she would be willing to put forth the effort to be the W that I want and deserve as well.

I know my story is still just beginning and there isn't much hope on the horizon right now, but I still believe in us, I still believe in my W and in our family and that is all I can do right now. I can't make her stop our D and I can't make her come back to me, but it doesn't me I'm not praying for that, it's that I have no control over it.