That was the last time that he mentioned the cheating on him thing, and I told him that I would not do that under any terms. I do feel that you are right about him leveling the playing field. Probably would make him feel better about the things that he has done/is doing.
The only two books I see him with is 'Mens Secret Wars' and some other book on manhood. Doesn't look like he touched them yet, but I'm still shocked that he would actually research and buy any type of self help book on his own.
Doctor's visit went well but I'm still waiting for the test results. Thank God that I have an awesome doctor. I've always gotten testing done as a precaution, but never had to go in between yearly visits.
I can say for certain that I am continuing with my 180s, but I'm not sure how much actual DBing I am doing. I myself am still being too inconsistent. I keep trying to make real goals, but I find that I keep making goals for me and then goals for us. I am 100% dedicated to both set of goals, however, he's still doing a lot of cake eating.
I also have not directly asked for what I want. I want him to stop being so secretive and give up his passwords but I'm really not asking him out and out. Probably because I'm sure he would make a big fuss of things.
The only good thing that I have seen is that there have been no arguments. He came home very late on Tuesday and tried to appease me by being extra night. We both addressed the issue and he gave me a rundown of his activities, but we both know that his word is worth less than dirt at this point. Later on the evening he showed me a text that he received from a male friend. Not anything lewd, but just something that I know he would have never showed me before.
I want to support him on this journey, but I still need to create clear boundaries. Seeing the counselor is going to be terribly difficult now. Our babysitter is moving in less than two weeks and the holidays are fast approaching. He hasn't set up another appointment mainly because of this and changes in his schedule.
I might ask him to go to church with us next week. This has actually been one of his goals, but I took the initiative. I've been very reluctant to be involved in organized religion since having some bad experiences as a child. Time to let all of that go.
