Oh BTW, if you're not planning to get back together with your XW, then maybe you want to change the line about "Still M in the church" in your sig line. That's why I thought you were still pursuing.
No - I don't see us ever getting back together "today". I know I have a lot of issues. But things change, so you never know. God doesn't give us grace until the day arrives that we actually need to use it.
About still being married - Well it's the truth. The church considers marriage continuous until death. That's why they use the word "anull" as opposed to "divorce".
Annullment is an admission that there was never really a "valid" sacramental marriage in the first place, and a marriage therefore didn't really exist. I've researched this and can find no grounds that I could get an annullment. It only matters if I want to remarry someone else anyway. I'll worry about that later.
Every possible future is unknown to us. I know the signature block is confusing, because I am not planning on reconciliation. But I will be open to that particular possibility in some distant future no matter the remote probability.
Thanks for all your responses and "encouragement" guys. You helped me feel better today.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Hey IAP, I get what you're saying about the church...
So you HAVE looked into annulment... OK... I'm sure if God gave you a sign, you'd find reason for the annulment...
Personally, I do plan on getting an annulment once the D is final. *shrug* I know my priest would do the usual, but I always felt he was "concerned" about the M... about my wife (non-catholic) specifically...
Like bond though, I have always wondered why you tag your sig with that saying, though... It does seem you are holding onto the M...
I don't see that as good or bad... I just see it as not having fully let go yet... and that's ok by me...
I know it looks like I am hanging on. May be I'll change it to something else. (They don't give you enough characters)
Emotionally though I really have let it go. No matter what, I can never abandon my faith. So I have to accept that in the eyes of God, I am still married. It's tough.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Hi all. Just perusing the boards. So many "New" Newcomers. This is a little depressing. I hope the "vets" take some time to help.
I told XW I'm not going to NOLA with her and the kids for Thanksgiving. She's going to take the kids.
I'll probably eat at my parents. Looking forward to having the house and time to myself though.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
And...you're one of those vets who you're referring too.
Hah!
I think I'm a little too jaded to be handing out DB advice.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I can't believe what's happened at my alma mater, Penn State. It's more depressing than my fracking divorce. Go Lions. Beat Nebraska!
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
My XMIL is at a retirement home in town but she and XW are somewhat estranged and rarely speak.
I hadn't spoken to XMIL myself since last summer when she called to briefly wish me a HB.
So yesterday, she called me, sounding distressed. Apparently she found out about the D thru the rumor mill. I didn't offer anything more than a few words of comfort and thanks for her support.
I find it odd though that XW never even mentioned it to her own mother. That's just fvcked up.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed having the house to myself this Thanksgiving. XW took the kids to our friends in Louisiana last Tuesday, and they should return sometime today. Can you believe she didn't even inform me of their itinerary? I didn't ask. They'll probably get in late.
I visited my parents on Thursday, and shared a good meal. Dad and I put the boat in the intercoastal early, and we fished until around 1:30 PM. Caught mostly trash fish and a few crabs, but kept one red. Weather was mild and it was nice being on the water. Takes your mind off this lousy economy.
This whole time has been theraputic. I put the Christmas lights on the house, overdosed on college football and my new favorite show, Galactica, cleaned the pool and even put in some laps (it's only freezing when you first get in) shared a few beers and cigars with a buddy of mine, all in all a nice little stay-cation.
Got an email last week from XW's uncle. He hadn't heard about the D either. So I sent him the brief time line (like my signature below) no embellishments. Funny, when I first got bombed, I couldn't help but spill my guts to anyone who would listen. Couldn't help it. I have regrets now, because my side of the family has no contact with her, like she's some kind of Judas or leper or something. In time I'll try and address that.
I guess XW forget to send the D announcements to her side of the family. You can't help but think about these things. Sometimes I just wish everybody knew everything.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
