Wow I can so relate since most of my trouble started while i was in Afghanistan.
Have you posted your story, the details are very important.
For now my first piece of advice is to share this with your first line supervisor, the chaplain or at least a buddy.
You'd be surprised how much those around you care.
You have kids?
If you don't consider cutting your rates of calling home in half, give her a chance to truly miss you.
Have you separated your accounts yet? I'm sure you've heard the horror stories. I you haven't ask your nearest E7 they'll square you away. If she freaks out tell her that you will continue to provide, but as long as she is like this you have to protect yourself.
Bottomline you won't be able to fix anything from over there, but you can prep the battlefield. Use this time to give her a taste of life without you. As long as she is still acting like this, slowly cut her off. Dont be angry don't do anything rash, just explain that you don't feel like being a loving husband, as long as she is acting like this. I know its tempting to run to the nearest MWR tent and make a phone call, call someone else, your mother, sister anybody.
Others beside your W appreciate you and miss you. Don't forget that.
If she brings up D again tell her you two will deal with it, when you get back. Then AVOID any and all relationship talk, don't even say you miss her.
Post more of your story so we can help you out.
One more thing are you over the 10 year mark for retirement?
