I must put my two cents in too! My personal experience is that getting dumped by our spouses after long term marriages is worse than death. Many people say that Divorce is worse than death! Im friends with my stbx's aunt, and she says her Divorce due to her xh extreme MLC was worse than death.
I say this because losing my mother rather unexpectedly was the worse thing I ever went through, up until this. Yet I find myself grieving over the loss of my marriage just as I did the loss of my mother. I think right now Im just finally coming out of the fog. I had been doing pretty well, but whe OW came into the picture it damn near devastated me.
This may sound rude, but you can't argue with dead! I also believe in life after death, that we have a soul and that we cross over to the other side. We're eternally happy, all the questions we ever had are answered, and we re-live all the emotions of our lives for a time. We can feel the love everyone feels towards us. As bad as things have gotten between him and I, he won't know how much I loved him until he crosses over, or some huge miracle like NO OTHER is brought down from God above and he just finally gets it, and accepts it!
It's hard to know you've been left, while the other half is somewhere else shacking up with someone else, saying horrible things about you to someone else, and still hating you for things that don't have anything to do with the price of tea in China!
Where as if they had passed on, you can focus on the good, relive the good, and convey the good back to them, and they accept it, yet though they're not in physical form.
