I would not consider myself a successful DBer at least not in the sense your looking for so in that regards I'm sorry, I'm not what your looking for.
I did want to come express my support and condolences for what your going through. I've been serving for 16 yrs going on 17 in just a few months and I've done my time in the box.
I can tell you that you share an experience that for most is hard to relate to. Nothing destroys the moral of a soldier more than a Dear John letter while over seas. I'm not sure what your job is but as an infantry men I can tell you that I can live with the IED's, ambushes, mortar rounds and anything else it's what I call occupational hazards but a dear John letter really crushes you.
You feel so helpless and out of control but I can also tell you that your distance and lack of contact also serves a very good purpose and the military life keeps you distracted but that does not help you in your down time does it. Surround yourself with friends stay busy and keep your head down and your rifle clean.
You can always do what a soldier did not long ago while serving overseas. After receiving a dear John letter from his fiancée he gathered all the pictures from the men in his platoon of females (gf, wives, sisters) in the envelope he was mailing home he put those pictures and included a picture of his fiancée with a simple note
"Sorry to inform you I can't remember which one is you; Please take out your picture and send back the rest"
But of course this is not the DB way. Just a thought
