The next day, today, my W was at the Dr's office and we texted a little bit. She said that she was really happy with some of the changes we had been working on with the MC, enjoyed getting along with me, and spending time with me. She said that we were both wrong but she feels like I'm doing these things so that she leaves. She wants to forget it all and be able to trust me and work on the things we have been. And she said that she wants to start today and be 100% honest with each other. She said that if the OM texts her she will ignore it and tell me about it.
Wow! Many people on this board would be absolutely thrilled if their W said that -- you should be very happy! You won the DB lottery with that one!
Originally Posted By: Jake999
I told her there are inconsistencies with her story and the info I have from snooping and she said we can talk about that. How do I approach that?
So don't blow it by doing that!
It sounds to me like she's willing to draw a line in the sand, say "let's forget what's happened" and start again. That's awesome! That's a huge opportunity.
I would embrace it. I would assume the best possible interpretation from whatever happens going forward. I would continue your 180's and your GAL. I would make sure your wife feels loved by understanding her love language. I would be the kind of husband that only a fool would leave (to quote 25).
I would go for it like your life depended on it.
Will it stink if you're being naive and she's playing you? Yes, if that happens, you can decide how to react.
WHAT WOULD BE MUCH WORSE IS NOT TAKING THIS CHANCE! If you can't get over your distrust, hurt and suspicion and that prevents you from committing 100%, then you're more than likely going to fail. You have to jump in the deep end of the pool here.
When we started piecing, my W kept insisting that I tell her it would be OK if things don't work out. I kept telling her that if I lived my life with failure as a possible outcome that I was comfortable with, then I wouldn't succeed in being the person I want to be. Why give yourself an out? (I finally had to tell her that of course I'd be OK if things didn't work out, but I was going to spend zero time thinking about that)
Good luck Jake, grab the handlebars and go for it, you just got the Willy Wonka magic ticket in my opinion!
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
