I know it sounds cruel to do nothing, but where are you in respect to this time last year? Yes, you are getting along better, but not yet near to reconciling. I fear if you send flowers, she will back away from you really fast. If you do nothing, aren't you just giving her what she says she wants? She says she wants D, she wants to separate her life from yours. If you were D, would you send her anything for your anniversary? What are the chances she will even mention it to you? Or acknowledge a gift sent to her, since she didn't before?
Can you get a small gift, not too personal, maybe her favorite tea, and cookies (biscuits, I think y'all call them) and take your cues from her, IF she talks about your anniversary, says happy A to you or something like that, then say Oh I got you a little something. Or just save the gift, and just say happy A back to her. You can always give her the gift if and when y'all reconcile. Or, just get a card, not too mushy, and again, take your cues from her, save it if she isn't in the mood for it.
