Say, Don't say anything to w about seeing a L. You say you are going to get informed on your rights... that's all it needs to be. It shouldn't be used as a tactic to show her you are moving on. She'll sniff that a mile away and it may actually move you closer to the D.
Your w's feelings of anger about your changes are typical.. and in some ways a good thing. That means she's noticing.. It means she's afraid of them.
Understand that there is nothing you can do to MAKE her get over her fears. This is something she must do alone and at her own time.
However - you can hurt her by backsliding on those changes. That will happen if you continually make it about YOU. That's what you are doing... bringing it back to you with the "She won't believe me, how can I make her see?"
Do you see that you are trying to fill your emotional needs by being there for her emotionally?
Make it about her only. Be there for her and don't take it personal if she decides to not let you in.
Emotional Support doesn't just come in the form of being there for them in the rough times. Sometimes it's listening vs. talking. It's validating their feelings. It's cheering in their successes.
Her trust with you is broken and that takes time to heal. And it will take time for you to change. You're making great progress but don't lose sight of why you wanted to make these changes to begin with....
.... because you realized that you not supporting her was something you wanted to change. You realized that you wanted to be an emotional supportive husband... REGARDLESS on if its with W or someone else.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
