Peicing and hoping I'm doing the right thing.

[FreeBird0120]

Hey everyone!!

Update:

So as I said before, the night we talked we ended it on pretty good terms, and even though he was a little distant I realized that that was to be expected.

Yesterday was a lot better. He called me quite a bit from work, so that felt really good. We met and had a drink together before we headed home for the evening and just talked. It was really nice. When we got home, I made dinner and H and D ate (I wasn't very hungry, but sat with them anyways) and then we hung out for a little before heading to bed. He had fallen asleep before I ended up getting in bed after shutting down the house, so I just went to sleep (no cuddling) ...

For some reason we both woke up this morning at 1am, and cuddled for a little bit before ML...it was nice. We cuddled and held each other afterwards, and fell back to sleep. He ended up getting up to get ready for work around 4:45, and came in to kiss me goodbye before he was leaving and asked if I wanted to have a quick cup of coffee before he left. I did, and we had pleasant small talk and he kissed me and said he loved me (after I said it first of course) before he left.

He's called me a 1/2 a dozen times today, some for no reason, and that has been nice as well...but here is where I'm afraid I'm going to need my fellow DBer's to 2x4 me...

For some reason I can't get this sinking feeling that H is still talking to OW on his work phone, and possibly meeting up with her in the mornings and possibly prior to coming home. I don't know why I feel this, but it's just this gut feeling I have. Every time I've had these gut feelings, I was right. When we talked Tuesday evening, I had told him that if we were going to work on this, that he needed to make sure there was no contact with OW..not even "Hi" or "Have a good weekend" in passing. I know I shouldn't have done that, but given the recent information I found out about their relationship prior to D and I moving back home, I felt like he needed to understand the boundaries that had to be put in place for me to start trusting him again. His reply to this was "I don't want to be a jerk. I don't see why saying Hi or Have a good weekend is such a big deal." I have NOT said anything about OW since our talk Tuesday evening, and I don't plan to either, but I just can't get rid of this sinking feeling that they aren't done. I'm so afraid that he has developed very strong feelings for OW, and can't let either of us go.

I'm also afraid that he may have said he wanted his family back, because he didn't want to be away from our D. When he "ended" it with OW this last time so that D and I would come home, he had told her that he couldn't stand not seeing D every day like he has her whole life. (Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful that he loves our D so much that he'd do this to keep her a constant in his life, but I so hoped that it was both of us that he couldn't live without.) Also H has an excellent chance of starting his own dream business through me and my boss. I pray to God that this isn't just a temporary thing so he can get this business off the ground and then end us again.

I am trying so hard to not bring OW up, and to be happy and upbeat when we are around each other or talk to each other. I am trying so hard to "KEEP THE ROAD HOME PAVED AND SMOOTH",