I spoke with my counselor over the phone yesterday about the situation. I needed to reserve a spot at a kennel if I was going to put them there as the Thanksgiving holiday is upon us and they are close to booked. Anyway, he said he felt it would be OK to ask ex wife to swing by and let the dogs out on Friday so long as I kept everything friendly and stopped the conversation once I had an answer from the ex. Anyway, so that's what I did (I hadn't seen your post at the time). The ex seemed glad for the opportunity to come by and told me that she was going out of town for the weekend but could do it after she gets off work. I told her thanks and I'd leave key out, etc. Then I stopped texting her.
A few hours later yesterday afternoon she texted me a picture of her two new dogs and how she'd like for me to see them soon. Nothing definite just that she should bring them by sometime. Next, we made a few jokes, told how our days had been and then I said i was going out for the evening and would talk to her later. There were a few texts of mine to which she had not responded and she responded to those a few minutes later, and then she signed off by saying, "tootles...." Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I got the sense that she was enjoying talking to me and didn't want to stop or was curious as to why i ended the conversation (definitely a 180 for me compared to months past). I really felt we had a good conversation.
However, sandi2, your advice has me wondering. I don't want to get in the "friend zone" which is where I was headed before I blew up at her a month or so ago. I was reading DR again and for one of the goals in step 3 (i think) i wrote down I'd like to talk to her a couple times a week. I know the advice is to let her contact me. I worry that our R is too far gone for me not to be a little more proactive, just to make sure we talk every now and again. I'm worried that if we don't communicate at all, she will think I don't care and will not be able to see any of the changes i've made etc. On the other hand, I worry that my ex is happy to have me as a part of her life, there when she needs me, but free to do as she pleases (which would also explain why she always seems happy to speak to me and responds almost immediately.
On another note, I have my first appointment to speak with a DB coach this afternoon. I'm really hoping to get some situation specific advice because my situation never really seems to fit exactly within the parameters of DB.
