A wife who cares about me. One who's not afraid to show their emotions. Since I can't have that, I want to work on me. Go to the gym more often and take care of myself physically. Enjoy meeting new people and socialize.
Most important of all take care of my daughter. She's getting older but very shy. It's not easy getting her to venture far from home.
It's been easy for me to do what I want. People who know me can't understand how I can do what I like without my w caring about what I do. Unfortunately, I would like to take my d to Disney World. Unfortunately, I have the only d who doesn't want to go.
I wonder if you daughter is shy because she senses some of the resignation from you and the resentment from her mother and it is manifesting itself in the only way she knows to express it???
At any rate...I have a shy daughter too and I am shy...I push us to do things...to stretch our comfort zones...I have never regretted any of the memories I have made with her but I have regretted when my shyness or my fear of pushing her out of her shy comfort zone has limited us...
go to Disney start off by setting a goal of doing 3 things that you do together see if she is up for more after those 3 things
Even when things were good our d was shy. She use to freak out when the mascot of our local baseball team would walk by. I would tell her if it came any closer, I would beat it up. What I said would calm her down but she wouldn't have anything to do with the mascot.
I don't think this site is working for me. I'm not leaving it b/c I can always vent. I don't think venting is enough. I feel I have a kind heart and my my W can't see it. I feel tired working on my relationship even when I'm not trying to work on it if you can undertstand what I'm trying to say. By not caring I care more for my wife. By sitting by and watching I feel pain. To be an observer and sit by and watch what happens around you without feeling any compassion for someone you knew for so long is almost impossible. She's not the best thing thing to happen in my life and I'm not love struck or paralyzed by her beauty. I'm a person who wishes what he wanted in life in regards to a relationship would finally happen.
Maybe I've always been a dreamer. Possibly I've been nothing but a fraud. And somehow I just hurt her so badly that there's no longer a point of return. Sometimes you can hurt the ones you love when your too young to understand how fragile a person can be.
How you you view my venting or rantings as you see it, is totally up to you. I can say as God is my witness, I've been nothing but human. I've had empathy and a goal to be a good father and husband. I also have my my needs, which to some would be considered minimal.
I have my GAL so down it hurts. I do as I want I say what is on my mind. If I want to go out, I give my W a kiss and I'm off. If I want to go somewhere, I make my plans. Now I've decided to invite my W and she's been agreeing to come. However, we still do our own thing. My invites are not formal, there're in the form if you want to come let me go. Lately, the answer has been yes. Then why do I want a divorce? Then why do I want to pack everything and move away? My only answer is I have a daughter. One who means so much to me.
Please excuse my venting, whining, or however you want to brand these posts. I've been on this board for a long time. I can help others and I can tell you by my experience the mistakes I've made. Until my daughter is 18 I'll be torturing myself with this realationship. Yes, we're on a roller coaster but sometimes the ride needs to stop and the amusement park needs to close.
This place has always been here for you to vent, and your advice is invaluable.
I'm not sure where this feeling of judgement is coming from though? Internally? Externally?
I don't know, but I do know this place is always here for you.
My only concern regarding the LBS is getting stuck and resigned to being stuck. Like it some sort of sentence that is unavoidable.
The idea isn't to be miserable for the rest of a life. Its to be ( )miserable for awhile and make significant changes during that time to see if anything changes.
Hope you stick around Fix.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Because you listened to her BS and started looking back at everything from your past, doubting every decision or move you ever made. Never mind that this is in the past and was delt with long ago.
MLCer lives in the past. I told my XH that the past is PAST and i'm looking forward. Don't let her drag you in.
Be a person you would want your best friend to be. Your best friend is: YES, YOURSELF. Be kind to him.
)miserable for awhile and make significant changes during that time to see if anything changes.