I read through the divorce busting book. Have no use for it now. My wife is a therapist thinking I might give it to her to use for work.
To save her clients' marriages? If you don't think the book is helpful to you, then why would you think it would help anyone else?
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My issue with the DB book right now is we are pleasant to each other and get along just fine.
What???
When a man has a WAW in an A with OM, he should never do "everything she has asked". And, I think, in spite of what DB teaches, you have tried to do what your WAW wanted in years past. That doesn't work with her NOW!
Can I have your attention? You don't do that kind of stuff NOW b/c things are very different from what they were in the past. She doesn't like you. She doesn't feel any romantic attraction for you. The more you pursue, the more she's going to disrespect you.
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All I am asking her for is to have a nice conversation.
No you don't! That's not all you want! You want to talk, and keep talking, until you talk her into leaving OM and going back to you. She knows that isn't all you want, "to have a nice conversation"! And, that's why she probably won't give you the opportunity.
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This is the first time in 12 years I will not be with her. What do I do with the presents I have for her from me and kids. Also the flowers I planned on picking up.
How many presents did you get? Did the kids pick them out? Are they expensive? If the kids didn't pick them out or if they are expensive, then you need to take them back to the store. Give the kids some crayons and paper to make her a birthday card. Take a snapshot of each of them to put inside their individual cards. Let them make goofy faces, if they want to cut-up in the snapshots. (But for gosh sakes, don't make one that has you in the picture.) I promise you she'll love it! The kids will be anxious to give it to her.
You've got to understand that you don't get her back buying gifts (not even birthday and Christmas). You don't do it by giving flowers. You don't do it by trying to do everything she's asked of you. All of that is pressure to her. It's pursuing. She's involved with another man. When you do these other things, it will work against you having any chance at a future with her.
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Do couples on this site reconcile?
Why yes! Yes they do!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
To save her clients' marriages? If you don't think the book is helpful to you, then why would you think it would help anyone else? 