Confronted spouse...now he wont come home

[Nblost]

I should vent more often...maybe.

H texted me just after I posted this morning and let me know he could attend d10's parent teacher conference. He asked if I wanted to get lunch beforehand. His work schedule had shifted a bit. I think I successfully DB-ed throughout. I kept things light and complimented him a few times on how hard he was working and how well things sound like they are going for him at work.

We talked briefly about Thanksgiving and we are going to get together with both sets of parents. Last week, I had told him that would be hard for me given he's having an affair. This week, I told him my parents wanted his parents to come and he agreed to invite them. I didn't bring up the A.

He doesn't mention anything about the affair and seems to be trying to mention things he's doing while he travels to make me think he isn't seeing OW. I haven't given him a firm ultimatum that the affair can't continue, but he knows I am not comfortable with it. I guess he must have taken the affair further "underground"? Do I just continue to assume it is happening? I would assume it is because if he had ended it...he would tell me? (I found a receipt from a dinner they had about 12 days ago...so it's not like it's been that long)

Also, he had lunch with his parents last week and connected with an old friend this week...I would like to believe that's positive and he's not as much in the "secret world of the affair"? Although, then I got nervous that the A is his new reality and maybe he's just getting comfortable.

Any thoughts? I know I should embrace these baby steps and stop thinking about everything.