REQ: Looking for a thread from a fellow DBer...

[Abbey]

It actually *did* work with my H in 2009. The relapse happened because he happened to impregnate the OW in early 2008. Being the type of predator that she is, is now using that baby to spend as much time with him, (and try to mess with the our marriage) as she can. She's lied to him about the paternity for 2 and a half years. (whilst btw, trying to use every back door to get it to him that it's his - he had initially issued a restraining order against her). My H is a mess, he's in love with the baby.

FWIW we started out as best friends 22 years ago. I don't know *what* or *where* this thing will lead. Or how I'll feel once the whole thing plays out. But I know what kind of sleaze I'm dealing with, with her, and the "being a friend" so far has got me from "I think I'm still in love with her", to "You're my best friend, an angel (which he called me again last night) to telling me he loves me". We had another little "talk" today, with him asking me if something she pulled last night made me angry. It didn't. I expected the games to start with her, so I told him: It's actually not as bad as I expected so far. I then just said, I told you, you need a friend right now, and I'm OK with you doing what you need to do.

He thanked me, told me what he hoped to accomplish by "playing" nice to her... and hugged me.

I do realize he's a mess so one minute, I'm sure he loves her, then he loves me, then he feels guilty etc etc etc. But the friend thing and another recent thread on the board talked about Road at home should be Paved and Smooth. It makes sense. I've done the "rest" of my initial 180 which he's EXTREMELY positive about. (had confirmation from a family member) I'll go rant and rave to my confidant but an instant right now: he just phoned, telling me he's on the way home and he's all proud because his daughter did some drawing for him. He ended the call with I love you.

I just made room for the drawings on fridge

Abbey