Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[BklynMom]

I vote for let him come over tues & thursdays. But I can see either argument. The stance that I think is not DBing is negotiating. Dont negotiate that is too controlling. You would be using one thing to control something else.

I say let him visit Tuesday & Thursday as long as you can always show him the new you. If you think you will fly off the handle once dont do it.

I think right now your H & OW can bond over their crazy exs. Dont give them that common enemy. Show them how awesome you are. You are a fabulous mom and a forgiving person. Maybe get into sexy work out clothes when he comes over and go for a run.

I dont know what it means but I was struck that the OW also likes animal pet names as you do. To me it seems like the OW is similar to you but right now he only sees her good stuff and nothing bad. With time her bad qualities will come out (we all have them). You need to show them only your good stuff.

I think you should "be loving, cooperative, accepting of what he wants and welcoming at home all the time" however dont share too much about what you are up to. Have plans everytime he comes over and dont tell him what they are. Only talk to him about things that are totally necessary.

Just my 2cent. Good Luck you are doing great.