Feel like I'm living the movie Groundhog Day...

[Telemark]

I look at that in contrast to the "adversity" my W has faced (which is certainly no where near what her friend has faced... not even in the same solar system) and wonder what the hell the difference is between the two of them...

Amen to that, brother. I know couples who have gone through terrible troubles and adversity...some if it their doing, some of it simply the hand of fate...but they hung in there with each other and are still together. My W and I had our share of troubles but nothing like these other couples, yet she recounts our marriage as one long trip through hell.

My daughter and I were having dinner one night and talking about the situation. She observed that men tend to look back at relationships with a more benign view...sure, we remember the problems and mistakes but we also remember the good parts, which usually far outnumbered the bad parts. Women, however, tend to be more critical and dwell on the problems without acknowledging the good times. These "memories" form the foundation of their actions when they decide to walk.

WHG, for many months I've beat myself up and down for the mistakes I made; words I said, actions I took and immature behaviors I displayed to my wife. But none of it, in my opinion, justified what she did. The WAS always takes the coward's way out UNLESS there is abuse present in the marriage; then it's a new game. But there was no abuse with us; just problems that arise in any relationship.

And I suspect that is true for most of us who are here. Did we have arguments? Of course. Differences? Sure. Hurt feelings? Yes. Is that justification for walking out on your spouse,your children, your family and even giving your heart and soul to someone else because it's new and fresh and exciting? No way.

Like jbnati has often observed, though, I'd rather be us than them.

You're on a good path, whg. Stay on it and keep swimming to the far shore without looking back.