Punches??What punches?

[Redo]

gabbysmom : Thanks for the feedback. Yea it is that lack of any info from her that is troubling me. I told my MIL that i might try to invite her on a date instead and then we can try to start fresh. But MIL said that one of us have to give in. Right now i feel like MIL is try to push me into doing something that i will surely come to regret later. The worse part is that i am just getting started to apply to university here for phd. And it is the best in TX. Yea i really need to think thorugh this.

Mr. Bond: I really appreciate your straight to the point talk. Yup, actually that is what i told MIL today. But now i am having this nagging feeling that i might have ended up disappointing her. I really have to rid myself of these things.

2Step: So great to hear from you man. Hope everything is going good for you!

I think you really hit on the points.

If i know that my wife is ready to work with me and make even one sincere step, I am ready to give all these up and move to work. There is no such thing. Our convos revolve our daughter and wife telling me her stories of her life there with her family. She seems genuinely happy with herself there.

Yes the moment MIL suggested this and said that one has gotta give, I did feel upset. We have a beautiful home and i have a great job where i can take care of both of them comfortably. While i understand that she has burnt some bridges I'll be there to protect her unlike before. But she has to reach out to me.

I have a very bad feeling that wife is trying to blame this on me. Apparently she told my MIL that she wants to work on the marriage, but knows that i'll never move back. This feels like manipulation. MIL tells me that wife is scared. How can i work on a broken marriage if my spouse is scared?? It will not change just because i move back to her town.

But i am planning on doing this: Write a heartfelt email to wife, again accpeting my role in this whole mess. Then also write that if she wants to try to get to know the new me. If yes, we can try dating to see if we jive. No strings attached. I guess can slowly see where that goes. That way hopefully i might be able to ally here fears. Hopefully she will see and like the new me. And maybe i can now learn more about my wife.

The way i see it: She's fallen down in the dark and unable to see anything in front of her. Me on the other hand with some confidence can see us getting out of this. So i'll extend my hand and see if she takes it. If she does, I'll make sure we get out of this stronger. If not, I'll just have to accept that some people just love to live in their misery and no matter how much you try, they are too caught up in their own BS that do not want to get out.