how to save my marriage while my husband moved!

[Coyote]

GABI17

I'm very sorry you find yourself in this situation. It's not nice place to be. I've been there. Other veterans here have been there too. However, you can rise from this. A better marriage with H could even rise from the ashes of this. Often does but there's no quick fix or guarantee for this. It's a process.

In short, your H is trying to 'find himself.' Probably even said so himself. If not yet, he will. He's on a journey and he's going there himself. You're not going to be able to reason with H or try to get him to see the error of his ways. Don't even try to expend energy in this direction. Listen to your H. Acknowledge his feelings. However, don't reason with him, argue with him on this, or pursue him. Will most likely chase him away further. (On the big scale, your situation is actually not unlike others here.)

For now, you need to focus on what you can control...you. You already have a lot in dealing with the anxiety and stress of this. You have to do good, healthy things for you. I've passed this on to others in your shoes (and not just here...) Tailor it to your needs,

1. Try writing your 'stuff' on paper. It can help to get things off the mind and work it out on paper. Don't leave this for others to see it though. This is for youself. If needed, burn said paper after.

2. Get active. Exercise regularily. Helps stave off the bluesey stuff.

3. Get out and see good friends and family. Don't sit around. Take out your daughter, make it a fun outing!

4. Take some quiet time for yourself. Be creative here.

5. Do things, again, be creative. You need to get your mind off of the junk that's going on.

6. Tell your daughter you love her and that what's going on is not her fault.

Have you read Michelle Wiener-Davis's book,'Divorce Busting?' If not, you need to do so as soon as you can. I've read so much material on this in the last six years. Some of it good. Some of it questionable. Many in between, but Michelle's advice is a very good place to start. Without it your chances of working through this fall off considerably. Read it through, then read it again even.

Her 'Divorce Remedy' is another good source. It's a continuation of the first. If later you feel a need to explore other material, it's well recommended and you're in a better place to discern, certainly. Start with this though,

Coyote