My son made some profound revelations recently - he said "Mom - I really believe that I shouldn't have to make so much effort to have a relationship with Dad. He should just BE here - he should just BE available to me when I need him. I shouldn't have to go find him or reach out to him. He should just be here." He went on to say that if his dad was dead he would have different feelings but the fact that his dad CHOSE to walk out of his day-to-day life has eliminated any real desire to have a relationship with him.
As always, I ask him - "When you look back 5 or 10 years down the road will you regret not making more of an effort or reaching out more?" He said - "I honestly don't think so. l don't like his choices, I don't like who he hangs out with, I don't have time to get everything done as it is - I don't want to put myself around negative things."
My boy is going to be 18 in 3 w eeks. He has a right to his feelings and he has a right tomake his own decisions. I am sad about the entire situation - I can only hope that when my son becomes a husband and a father he will know the meaning of commitment and will know how to handle this time in his life.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
