New here....Major Vent

[Nblost]

I was the LD partner in my marriage but felt like I was (and still am) doing 90% around the house. My advice (take with a grain of salt since I'm not sure I should give advice in my shoes!)

--I got angry/bitter about doing everything with the house/kids while H felt he could work extra hours, go out with coworkers, etc. (I also work full-time). In retrospect, I should have hired a babysitter for myself more often, and done more for me. This is still very hard for me to justify, but I needed to be happier and that would have helped. Get a life, enjoy the kids, versus slaving every night over things that just need to be done again the next night.

--Your wife is likely responding at least partly to your attitude around her. I would try a better attitude (maybe read the Happiness Project or Divorce Remedy) to help let go.

--Can you get her to counseling? We found a good counselor/sex therapist but it was too late (hopefully we will have another chance) Maybe there is an opportunity to get her talking and "restart" your marriage in a better way.

--Read the 5 Love Languages book...it may help. She may need something completely different than your acts of service to feel loved.

--Talk to her and be ready to leave if she really won't change (and you have made changes in yourself). Don't have an affair. She may need a wakeup call and she doesn't sound very happy either.