I need advice for dealing with a WAW

[SamuelH]

So I sent the anniversary gift yesterday. I included only the gift and a card. I did not add the post-script like I mentioned in my last reply.

I discovered from our MC on Monday that my W had told her sister that she stopped believing in God. My sister in law then contacted our MC who then tried to reach out to my W, but my W was silent on that issue. This all took place back in mid September. I'm assuming my W had actually abandoned God in August, but I don't know for sure. At any rate, this was news to me on Sunday.

I also got some very sad news. Yesterday my great-grandfather passed away, he was 96. I called my MIL who said she would let my W know. I talked with my MIL a bit about how I just learned that my wife didn't believe in God.

My MIL said she understands how my W is feeling; Back in 2005 my MIL's youngest son (biological son) took his own life at age 18. My MIL said that for a while she didn't believe in God but that she eventually came around and reestablished her belief.

She feels that the same thing happened with my W when I 'asked' for a D. I immediately stuck up for myself and said "I never 'asked for a divorce'. I only commented that with the attitude and lifestyle she was intent on living, we may as well get a divorce. It may be parsing words, but I feel like there is a difference."

My MIL thinks that it will take time for my W to reach a decision. She told me "Hopefully that decision is one you are happy with." She also said she will tell my W that "I'd like her to remain in my life". I felt that was a little too vague... I wanted to say "No, tell her I'd like her to remain my wife!" but I held my tongue. When I spoke to my MCs about this they felt that either way given the context of what is happening, it would be clear that my intent is for her to remain my W.

This whole situation really [censored]. I find myself constantly missing everything about my W. I find myself depressed thinking about the future and all the things we planned. The children we may never have, the good times we might never share.