Your therapist offers good advice, it's time to start to disengage from your W as best you can. All the triggers are going to keep triggering you until you can get yourself emotionally stable enough to deal with things, one at a time...
There's never any guarantee, but generally speaking a D doesn't happen over night. It takes time. For that reason, you have time to work on yourself which is a big part of what DBing is about.
While I'm sure your W would say you've "changed" and you may be inclined to believe her, I'd submit that the biggest thing to show the world is you HAVE NOT changed... in the sense that you are still... you...
Yes, you will need to adjust to your new found and accepted self. But that doesn't mean you're any less than the caring H and father and that you are still physically and emotionally capable of carrying on your job as well as the day to day routine or upkeep of the home and other duties that a H performs...
I am not a psychologist so what I say is unqualified, but consider the trigger for your PTSD. You W just had a major "shock" with your prognosis. It reads as though she thinks your new revelations have somehow changed you. Of course you may live your life a little different, perhaps you will (and you should) conduct yourself in a more confident manner now that you better understand your original confusion about yourself.
But that doesn't change YOU in any large degree if you feel how you behaved and who you were is any different than who you want to be and how you want to behave once you've adjusted your inner self with your outer self.
And your W and those around you are going to need time to get to know you again, and know that you are that same, lovable and helpful person they've always known...
Read the DR book and get to working on yourself to the best of your ability and shine through as the best you that you can be. You have an opportunity to REALLY step up and BE YOU and hopefully your W will understand that "no matter what" and "forever" are still as relevant for her as ever.
