Feel like I'm living the movie Groundhog Day...

[workinghardguy]

A few other things from last night that I didn't process until this morning...

My W did comment some more on changes. Specifically she really likes my GAL and seeing me get out there and have fun in my life. She also thanked me for putting us on a budget and keeping us to it, even if it makes her angry or frustrated at times that she can't spend what she wants to spend.

She also shared a story from yesterday that had her frustrated and feeling bad (which explains her mood when I got home). I thought it was illustrative, but I simply validated. Originally I was going to be home yesterday when the kids got home from school b/c W was going to be at her C appointment. Since she rescheduled I stayed at work and she was home. SD gets home, walks in the house, sees my W and says "Where's T?" W explains the change. SD gets sad and wonders who will help her with her homework now and proofread her papers? W was quite annoyed by that. Then, a few minutes later SS walks in the house. Same thing..., "Where's T?" W explains. SS asks who's going to help him with his homework. W says she will... "but Mom, this math stuff is pretty hard I think I better wait for T".

I know this bugged my W to no end. At times I think she is jealous that I parent well... or that she doesn't parent all that great lately. I've always had the stance that we're a team and each have our strengths. I'm not goofy guy who dances at the drop of a hat or comes up with silly games and stuff. But I will get the homework done, help the kids stay on task, and work with the kids to help them understand life. I've always thought we work well together that way. Anyway... it drove home for my W, a little bit at least, that SS and SD will not adapt to my absence as cleanly as she thinks.

Lastly, when we were discussing the house I put out there my position that I don't want to be the one leaving if I don't have to. That I don't want to be the one walking out on the kids. It would be one thing if I was the WAS and just walked out, but that's not it. She is free to take the kids with her and leave, I can't stop that, but she can't force me out either without a decree. She got very quiet and thoughtful. Then she said she understood my point. She said that I am probably right... that I don't deserve having the kids think I abandoned them, since I won't be doing it by my choice. She thinks if she takes the kids and leaves it will increase their anger and resentment towards her. She doesn't want that, but I told her that is something her decisions are creating. I will not own that for her.