do not let him take the kids out of the country without a clear custody order-preferably one granting YOU Primary custody and his taking them only with your consent for a temporary visit overseas..
otherwise, getting him to return the kids after taking them out of the country is a major hassle for you that will be costly.
Sure, in the end you'll probably prevail in getting him for child abduction (Which is what it would be) but only at great cost in money and time. Time spent there with him and OW is not time that's good for the boys. Too much upheaval and weirdness....
I don't think you need to keep reminding him that you don't want him back unless you really don't.
But if you have hopes, however remote, of a reconciliation, you want to keep the road home paved and smooth.
I can't help but wonder if some of his comments about the awkwardness of the families and how tought holidays are going to be, are aimed at finding out how hard it would be for him to return to you....
Maybe you can do some serious forgiveness work, and let go of the problems even if just for a few days. You can always take back your anger and carry it with you, AFTER the holidays...
Get him to learn to RELAX as much as possible around you and the kids, NO expectations, just low key LOVING WAARMTH & FUN
so that you two AND the kids can learn to be in the same room without any weird tension or sadness or conflicts.
Let them be happy as a family this one last Christmas.
The more relaxed your h is around you (rent comedies and make it about the kids and NO r talk, all Div talk is tabled for the holidays)
Then see if you can build on those moments, and have other memories resurface.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
