First, I don't think you did a poor job communicating your thoughts... I'm just probing...
And just so you know... I DID try flying by flapping my arms... that didn't work so I held a 1x4 length in each arm and that didn't give me much better lift, so I tried the glide approach by holding a sheet of plywood to my belly in a strong wind... I can attest that there are MANY human powered flight methods that will not work...
As you've answered above, a failed M has nothing to do with competence. I sometimes think successful, lifelong M's are not about M competence as much as it's about two people being too stubborn to D... and one can not be smart enough to read someone's mind, so there's no way for us to really know whether we should M someone in the first place... IOW, it's not because you aren't competent that you find yourself in your M sitch...
I do think it's interesting that you worry that others might find you incompetent... There's something there that might suggest self doubt which often points to feelings of being unworthy... and of not trusting yourself capable...
I'm going to leave the chicken exit alone for now. Why its useful is once you recognize your chicken exit or avoidance technique, you can be more aware of it when it shows up and you can change your behaviour instead of regressing to it.
Scarcity isn't just a monetary or objectification thing... sometimes we have scarcity of love or scarcity of connectedness or scarcity of spirituality or... scarcity of knowledge...
VERY interesting about where you find value in people. A car gets us from point a to point b. A car can indicate we have "succeeded". A more expensive car means we're more successful? A fuel efficient car means we're frugal or environmentally conscious?
If people are not providing you with some intrinsic value, do they have no value? What are friends for? Are they simply an asset and resource to draw upon when we have need? What is a spouse for?
Is a spouse simply someone who helps build the financial coffers, help with mortgage / rent / food, some entertainment value? Is a spouse's purpose solely to procreate? When a spouse no longer provides us with value, what is their purpose in our lives? Can we expect that they will always provide us with tangible value?
If people don't love us because we're worthy of their love, why do you suppose people would love us?
Why do you love your niece?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think one of the places you live in scarcity is time. That might even be your chicken exit. When you find a hole in your life... an empty spot... you go out and try to fill it... that would be a form of avoidance...
I think that most people want to leave their mark on this earth in one way or another. To be useful and otherwise provide value in some way.
At what cost?
This is great stuff. There's a lot coming out here and so much to be investigated. Time to break it down into core components, soon.
I really want to get deeper into the concept of being needed. We'll "put a pin in that".... lol...
And yes, I want to discuss more about "time alone" and how it might be ruling your life. Another thing on the "to do" list...
Two key things here: + Time + Alone
ahhhh... ok...
Can you tell me one thing in your life that you found was the most challenging thing for you to do?
