Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Hey Punkin, thanks for stopping by, and now that you mention it I do remember of your nightmares and sleeping issues. I agree with you about the subconscious cleaning house--I think this is what my doc. was getting at too which is why she asked me to just focus on what's going on in the nightmares as opposed to trying to "run away" from them.

Alcohol generally shuts it all off, but then I have to deal with a hangover the next day, which isn't fun, so I'd been cutting down on alcohol lately for that reason.

My mom said why don't I just take the ambien for awhile and not worry about the fact that I have no refills...I guess I worry about "stockpiling" medicine as I've had docs before who have given me an initial course of something and then cut me off sayign the drugs are habit-forming (and yet I know others with sort of open prescriptions of this stuff, go figure)...but when I saw her I wasn't having the nightmares...if I go back after a month and I still am, I don't think she's going to just let me twist in the wind ;-)

I know there are quick fixes like a roommate or a dog, but then I think, isn't it better to nip this now, I can't guarantee I'll have a live-in companion forever. It's amazing to me how this goes back to childhood and overprotective parents. If I could wipe one memory, it would be the one where dad insisted that he was always watching me so no harm would ever come...it was a nice thing to say but darn if that didn't become gospel to me, so much so that to this day when I ever have any issue my parents are begging me to "come home so they can take care of me."

It's nice that they are like this, but it doesn't help me be a grownup.