I guess if he tells you again that your cheating on him would sort of even the playing field, tell him he might just as well stop saying that, because it ain't gonna happen. He wants it to all be better by getting you to do what he does. It would alleviate his guilt. As to whether or not it would really cause him "pain", who knows? I think that his need for it to be even would outweigh the pain he would feel if you did.
Now, his calling the counselor, and getting self-help books is a good sign; hopefully he will follow through. Just out of curiosity, what books did he get? Your actions have caused him to stop and think. You seem to be DBing just fine. Funny how it really works, isn't it?
I hope everything turned out okay at the doctor's. About the church, it's a good idea to check out a few before you choose, maybe a good Sunday School for the kids. I actually years ago, had a religious question to ask, and I looked through the phone book for churches, and rejected everyone I came to, until for some reason I picked one. The best decision I have ever made. I think God led me to pick it. Not saying for people to go walking through the yellow pages for a church, but for some reason it worked out for us.
