Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Thanks kml...the 2 obstacles I guess are that I do love my house and yard..it's a lot of work but god is it beautiful here, it's like living with a park behind my home, and it's SO peaceful. It's just got "everything" because XH and I made it such a great place. And I'm only paying 700 a month for the mortgage because I have a good bit of equity built up. XH meanwhile is paying 1200 a month for a 2 bedroom condo with no privacy and no yard or anything, and smaller square footage. I'm even putting an extra 150 a month now on principal to build the equity faster/pay down the mortgage. So moving just isn't something I'll do. It's a sanctuary, albeit a sanctuary that I fear someone "invading" at night, I guess.

The male roommate is another thing I feel like I can't do number one because I don't know anyone in need of a place to live and I would never be able to just interview strangers and let someone come live here. My trust instinct is sorely lacking anymore ;-) I guess if I knew someone in need, whom I trusted, I could change my mind. It's also not a very big house. There is a guest room but it's really small and I don't have much storage so there isn't even room for anyone to move any of their stuff in. XH didn't take anything. He left all of it to me. So it's a very full house despite my ruthlessly going through since he left and trying to get rid of stuff.

To be honest if I was in a rel. with someone and he wanted to move in, I'd probably say yeah, if we put an addition onto the house. XH and I were starting to really walk all over each other here.

It's a great house for a single person and a real sanctuary...but you're right, it does lack the male energy, and all my male friends who live here are married and so they don't spend any time here.

This is why I keep coming back to getting a dog ;-) Possibly not smart with all the cats, though.

I dunno, just something I have to work through.