new to this..

[learning2listen]

well h called today about staying with the kids while i go see my mom.. he caught me in a very down mood, when he asked what was wrong I lied and said I was just having a tough day at work.

The reality, i was just on the phone with his mom and I get so frustrated with her willingness to help me, because her son is 90% of why I am need of help.

I am feeling myself getting resentful towards the whole darn thing.He walked away, that is on him. I am doing everything I can to make sure me and the kids are ok. I really hate having to ask him to help with anything, it just gives him more power, more control.

I dont like how I feel today, it is so hard not showing my true feelings, and my feelings are this...he says "i get the feeling you are trying to make me feel guilty.. and I dont..." this was said quite some time ago, within the first month of him leaving.. well get this.. you should feel guilty..

I know this is not helping.. I am just so hurt with where I am at. Its not so much about the r ending.. its more about the finacial burden he has put on me, the fact that I am working 2 jobs and taking care of the kids 100% of the time, and I know I am suppose to take his help when he feels like offering but its just one more feather in his cap.