Alcoholic H wants D part 2.....

[25yearsmlc]

Hi everyone..back from our camping trip and had a good time. It was a little difficult for me as that was the first time I had been in our trailer and camp spot since last year and it was sad to remember all the good times we had and sleep in the bed that we slept in together...but i forced those thoughts out of my head and had a good time with the boys and there friends.

Good for you!! Well done.

It rained most of the weekend so we watched movies and ate junk food and just hung out. I was proud that I did that trip alone, one my own and showed the boys that we could do the things we have always done before.

Exactly...and what's junk food for, if not rainy days "camping"?


Found out that our house finally sold (H has been living in it free for 2 yrs while it was up for short sale)


Naturally, I assume he's been saving a ton of money, since he's spent nothing on mortgage or rent and due the bank/taxpayer's paying his bills, he should be well ahead of the "game", right??


and H was told he has to be out by the end of the month. this has brought about several conversations about where he will live and how hard it is going to be on him financially now.

you mean that he thought 2 years of free rent wasn't enough? He's SHOCKED that he's being told to leave?

and He's made zero preparations for it? Literally, NO PLANS?

Wow...I'm sorry but that's just sickening and lazy and irresponsible. HE really is clueless as to who is paying for HIM, isn't he? To the rest of the world, he's getting off really light and I'll say no more on that issue for now....sheesh!!


all "theres going to be child support and alimoni now".

there was always supposed to be & it's called providing for your family!!! This is not new! OR was the enabling so deeply ingrained that it is new to HIM??? Geez...wake up buddy...


....I have stayed silent and not commented at all when this is said..even when comments were made about how he will have to cut back on the things like storing the trailer and cable etc

then you're a better woman than me....why hasn't he sold the trailer OR LIVED IN IT and what's the cable for and OMG OMG OMG....it's like he's 12 and on his own the first time ever....


....In my head I thought "yep, been there, still doing that" but did not comment at all. then there was the "ill probabley end up living in the trailer for awhile to get by"

yes he will, and or he should have been before now, so the taxpayers didn't pay FOR HIS irresponsibility... AND OR he can get a better job. What does he do for money now? How does he hold a job down? Dare I ask?

........instead of getting angry at the guilt he is trying to put on my it actually made me giggle...sooo dramatic...He will be fine, Ive been doing it with kids and all he has to worry about is himself.


I probably would giggle and just ask, "just so I know I'm getting it straight", are YOU trying to make ME feel bad about YOUR choices, And how hard it'll be for you to live the way ME and our kids have been living already? Is that what you're implying b/c I really want to make sure I'm clear..."

Is that what's going on b/c if it is, that IS laughable...and tragic and enraging but of those emotions, I pick laughter as the most pleasant....


Going to another Co parenting session tonight...he has not seen S14 at all this week and let me know that he will be working this weekend so he will not have him then either...not sure how this co parenting thing is working out but I will just make sure we are busy this weekend and S14 is occupied.

and Document!!

@Danl...honestly i dont know anything about OW..i am assuming everything that I have said, which I should not do. I dont know were they met or how long that has been going on. Im not even sure if he is still seeing her....it has never been discussed.
sometime I want to ask and then I think whats the point...do I really want to know???


there's NO point in this! Seriously, there is NO POINT IN THAT....

First, Your h isn't thinking straight and his self absorbed talking shows that. He's self centered to a crazy level an d his choices are blatantly poor ones, NOT even in his selfish interests.

Who lives rent free for 2 YEARS and does nothing to prepare for the eventuality of living on his own again?

He's supposed to be an adult but here he is homeless of his own volition and literally by choice, if you think about it.

So who cares who he chooses IF he chooses an OW? For all we know, she glommed onto him thinking he had money, OOOPS and will dump him soon OR she's as bad off as he is and they're both nuts...
Second, why not spend YOUR Energy on YOUR LIFE and your kid's??

For now, he's just not worth the time and effort it takes to try and help him as if you could.

Besides, You need to let him hit rock bottom so he can maybe get himself out of his horribly deep rut.



What I dont understand is how he can say our relationship is to hard to work out yet he has it in him, in the middle of all that is going on with us, the house, our son etc...to start a new relationship.

The First question is why YOU want a r with him?


Consider this... other than the feeling of you being rejected by HIM, what's the attraction of this man anyhow?

Be objective for 5 minutes and detach for 5 minutes and tell me

what is it about THIS man and his terrible choices and character flaws and alcoholism, that make you want him in your children's lives and yours?

You were very furious at him not too long ago, so what's changed in HIM that makes him so appealing now?

I think you focus way too much on the rejection you feel, and [i]maybe you confuse that with meaning you love him and belong together...[/i]

second,

the reality is his relationship with you DOES take more work

b/c he'd have to overcome his past mistakes-HUGE--and he does not have full amnesia. Neither do you.

He fears you won't forgive him and he knows you have a lot of anger...AND even if you did seem to forgive him, the kids and he and everyone else, all know that he's made a huge mess of his life and hurt the finances of the family as well.

It's a lot to overcome. And for a man who has hidden from his fears with booze, that's too much scary stuff to deal with, let alone sober.

So, back to YOU-- and what YOU are doing for YOUR LIFE and your kids...like GAL and the 180s...


What are those like today?