Well, if you think you look like a fool to people from the outside looking in, then there are a whole lot of us here in the same boat as you. Like a big giant ship of fools.
Some part of your H seems to be sorry for what he is doing, hence the apology during a very intimate time. But, him not controlling his actions when he goes out shows something different.
I am sure he is wondering at the strong side you showed to him at the therapists office. Did he say anything to you when you were looking at his watches? Maybe he didn't think anything of it. How do you feel any progress has been sabotaged? I can understand you moving to a separate bedroom if he is still picking up women. You don't want to get an std. He needs a lot of therapy to figure out why he is a serial cheater, and how to stop it, if he wants to stop it.
How long have y'all been together? If you said, sorry.
I hope you enjoyed whatever church you chose this morning.
vc
Thanks VC, I really needed the laugh. I guess you're right in that regard. You were also right about him not thinking anything of it when I was looking at his dresser. I definitely didn't sabotage what might be progress at this point, however temporary.
After last night's talk (I didn't initiate anything) I now know that he feels a lot of guilt. He also says that he doesn't want to stop me from finding happiness, in the same manner. On one hand, I'm wondering why he's essentially trying to give me permission to cheat. Even if I wanted to, my morals would not allow me to.
He asked me why I wasn't affectionate with him anymore. He said that he felt bad that we weren't intimate anymore. That he felt like he didn't want to be with anyone else. I think he might feel uncomfortable when he feels that his options are limited. I'm also thinking that he might just have some sort of sex addiction now.
Again, he wants to stop cheating and work on things, but its really only because I have pulled away so much. The only silver lining that I see is that he is serious about working on himself. He's getting back in contact with the counselor, has picked up his own self help books and asked me to go with him to visit a friend next weekend. I'm just not liking that his ultimate solution seems to center around me cheating on him. He said that it would make him unhappy, but that he would understand and thought that it would make me happy. What is it with him needing me to inflict pain on him?
On another note, church was nice, but I'm going to check out a few other places before I figure out which one is best. My doctor's appointment is today, so I'm crossing my fingers.
Thanks so much for your support. I really, really appreciate it.
