What do I do next? Part 2

[Accuray]

LuvHurts49,

Brutal, sorry to hear it. When you confronted W, what did you say, and what did you not say?

What did you ask, and what did you not ask?

Did she ask you anything other than "how do you know?"

Did you ask W about the requested meeting with your dad?

Did you discuss parenting, what she's been saying to the kids, and what you have not been saying to the kids?

How do you let go of the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

You have a need for connection and intimacy, and right now there is a big gap there your wife used to fill. There are really only 2 things you can do (1) lower your level of need or (2) find something else to fill it.

Time will help with #1, but that doesn't help you now. Exercise can also help with #1. #2 can be helped with support groups, therapy, extended family, dating or best of all, friends!

There is no magic here other than time -- put a date on your calendar in 2 weeks and KNOW that you will be feeling better by then. When you get there, reassess, and set another target date.

The other thing you could do is to find a second job -- that will give you an opportunity to meet people, make sure you're not sitting at home doing nothing, and bring in some extra $$$. Just be sure it's something you somewhat enjoy.

I still don't understand how my W changed into what is now my W in the blink of an eye. I mean, we come back from vacation and she is this wonderful, sexy, smart woman who loves me with all of her heart (both showing and telling) and then two weeks after she left, she is this vengeful, angry, vindictive, roller coaster driving, love killing woman that I barely recognize.

Very frustrating that your W would about-face so quickly. There are two things to explain this: (1) she's been pulling away for a long time but "acting" happy for your benefit out of fear of being left, or (2) she's impulsive and OM came on strong.

Then again, it may be neither, you may never know. She might not know either, although over time she'll convince herself of a comfortable justification.

Hang in there, it WILL get better.

--Accuray