I was going to post those same words earlier... Peter - you didn't need to go there. When she asked what you wanted she meant it in the immediate/tactical nature, not the strategic/global. When you went there it said to her, "damn... he still does not get this, does he?" So she had to pull out the hurtful sayings to force you away again.
The other piece is that what you said and what you meant are different... to me what it looks like you meant is that you want HER to work on the M WITH you. That's asking for something you're not going to get right now, so why ask?
What you missed was the chance to show her the strong, independent you. I don't know the "right" answer but something along the lines of "I want us to co-parent well for the kids' sake" or "I want to use this time to be a better me so I can be a better dad"... basically it's nothing about her. It's about you and your kids and frankly she doesn't amount to a hill of beans. Since you can't control her you're not going to focus on her. You can control you and your kids (to a degree) so that is where you focus is going to be.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
