Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

Second shocking thing tonight was not pleasant at all, but I know I handled it well...

When H was getting ready to leave tonight after dropping the kids, he said, out of the blue "BTW, we have not picked a nickname for our three-month old son. I was thinking we can call him baby tiger."

As I mentioned in an earlier post, when I read one of his love letters with OW just last week, I discovered that they call each other Papa Tiger / Mama tiger and she called our son "baby tiger." She also gave my H a stuffed tiger as a present and an embroidered bib with my son's name and date of birth and a picture of a baby tiger...

So when I heard H suggest that nickname tonight, I was sick to my stomach and felt like crap. BUT, because I had read that letter (and when I did I cried because I felt that even for this so very personal thing he was trying to replace me), I almost saw it coming when he said we had to pick a nick-name. I had a haunch because he has been so transparent and insensitive when it comes to those things, that I was almost like I was expecting him to suggest that nickname.

Instead of getting furious and fighting with him or yelling at him, I played dumb. I asked playfully "why would we call him a tiger silly, if we are a bear family?" (we have always called each other papa bear, mama bear, etc.) He even tried to insist and convince me that it was a good nickname, that our son "looked like a baby tiger." But I responded "Besides, our other bears (our girls and our stuffed animal bears) would not like that." He simply smiled and said nothing more.

I was soooo hurt inside... This might seem very stupid to others, but my H has always said that he loved how we were always comfortable acting like little kids around each other and having this "cute" bear interactions together.

I am proud of my reaction tonight and not getting upset in front of him. But inside, I was absolutely devastated and shocked. I cannot believe he is now trying to get me to use a nickname for OUR son that he and OW are using!

Is this normal behavior for someone who is with OW???? Can someone please explain it to me? I had never been cheated on, and my H had never acted like this, so I feel like I am going crazy here.

I know my H has always had low self-esteem, and I can clearly see how he is taking on her personality, always liking what she does, dressing as she wants him to, etc. and trying to please her to no end.

But to me this incident just re-confirms my belief of how obsessed he is with her and how serious he is about his R with her. I don't know who initiated this "tiger bear" thing, but WHY COPY US??? WHY NOT DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL AND DIFFERENT???

I see it as just another indication of how he is simply trying to replace me. And just when I think there is nothing he can do re. OW that will take me by surprise, he shocks me again...

Is this what happens when OW comes in the picture and establishes a long-term R with our spouses????

Ugh...What's next?