Sl, It's nice to meet a fellow INFJ. I don't have kids, so can't related to family leadership from that perspective, but understand the struggles an strengths of being an INFJ in a M. I'll post when I have something to offer.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Thanks everyone. Not sure I know any other INFJs, actually.
Sometimes I envy those who simply lead by nature or force of personality, without overthinking it. You know, go big and live large. Seems like a lot of fun. Asking for a bit of balance in my R usually means my W slowing down, and she gets frustrated by that. Just take a look at lists of INFJ "famous people" on the web....I mean they (we) have strengths sure but it's not really a bunch of people you'd want to party with, right?
Anyway, I've come up with a list of leadership traits. And they sound great.....and exhausting. I think maybe I have this leadership thing all wrong. Trying to fit the sterotypical role of outgoing leader, out in front all the time just doesn't seem like it's going to work. It's just not me.
It's a little frustrating since it seems that relationships, works, etc. all expect this of men.
I keep coming back to the Taoist stuff. But they are funny about leadership - you know, leading without leading, or without anyone realizing it. I gravitate to this.
Anyway, I don't think my studying leadership is likely to help much. Actually, I think I just need to let it go. I sort of like me the way I am and maybe a little rest and a good sense of humor will get me just as far.
Anyway, I don't think my studying leadership is likely to help much. Actually, I think I just need to let it go. I sort of like me the way I am and maybe a little rest and a good sense of humor will get me just as far.
While it is VERY important to like you for who you are, never stop striving to be a better YOU. You can develop leadership qualities that don't change who you are, but rather enhances who you are.
lc4, that's true. My first thought was about the old vodka joke, how is "enhances" one's personality, so that if someone is a jerk they just end up being a bigger jerk. In my case it was the stress and resentment that made me....well, I don't know if I was a jerk, but I wasn't much fun either. The "fun" has been the hardest thing to get back. Holding the stress and resentment inside and not doing anything to take control did me in....
Yeah, I think there's a lot of things like that, where you can't really do it by trying. You just have to let it happen natually. Guess that's why I like the taoism - I tend to be in my head too much, and come to think of it they talk about leadership "without being obvious". When things get stressful and chaotic I rush in to fix them - not a very relaxing way to live, well, maybe for me anyway.
A leader is not necessarily a person with a figurehead / spotlight position.
A great leader understands how to support everyone else around them in their greatness, while operating and conducting themself from a position of personal strength and integrity.
Bad evening, argued about upcoming trip - stupid stuff, but very much like past issues. W shut down and I pressed. Ended up feeling responsible and wondering why I press like this when I'm stressed. Maybe because I'm trying to get any kind of emotional response from her. Last November was like this. EmbaraSsing. Off to uncles funeral today. Plans for our 6 month trip to the other side of the world hitting lots of snags. I don't know if my reaction is reasonable or not, but certainly not helpful. And I was doing much better....
