Thx sayitaintso. I do believe that you are correct in what you have said. I do know that my W has told that every time she "lets me in" she ends up getting hurt. So it is very clear to me that I need to make changes for myself first so that way I don't go back to being lazy and negative etc. So far following the DR steps seems to be working at least I am feeling much better about my sitch. If you have anything to add please feel free. Thx again
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out